JuJuBee: Pay No Attention to the Man Behind the Curtain

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Pay No Attention to the Man Behind the Curtain

I know that my site seems a little funny the last couple days, I am working on that. Ignore it. I will keep trudging through the {sarcasm} gazillions {/sarcasm} of questions you all have for me.

CHRIS asks: 1) Aside from being a mom (which is quite noble), what would your dream job be?

I love make-up. I wear make-up. I buy lots of make-up and get excited to go home and try it on. I look at other women's faces and decide what I would do differently to their make-up, had I been the one to put it there. I only had my make-up done professionally one time. On my wedding day. I hated it. Had to go home and redo it myself. The crazy make-up girl's hands were shaking as she tried to swipe mascara onto my blonde, almost nonexistent lashes. Then she giggles, "Hehehe, I'm on HydroxyCut and it makes me SOOO shaky!". Wrong thing to tell a woman on her wedding day as you struggle to steady your hand. She could have blinded me, but she got by with a shitty make over. Where was I? Oh yes. I'd love to do make-up, maybe for celebrities and travel all over the world charging exorbitant amounts of money for my time. Shallow? Maybe. Fun? You betcha.

2) What are your top three guiltiest pleasures?

Good question. Ask anybody who knows me and they would tell you that I. Love. My. Showers. This has got to be a guilty pleasure. I don't know why I feel guilty being in there so long because honestly, the time I have in there is the only alone time I have ALL DAY LONG. True, I have always taken very long showers, even before I had children and no time to myself, but now the showers serve a purpose for me. They are my quiet time. I do my best thinking there. I also brush my teeth, apply face masks, give my hair deep treatments, exfoliate, shave, wash, moisturize...you can see why I take so long. My second guilty pleasure would be alcohol. I love wine and for some reason I feel guilty when I have a glass. I shouldn't. I will work on that. Third? Hmn. I am having trouble with a third one here. It might be sleep. I would kill someone for a full night of uninterrupted sleep right now.

3) What's the least talked about, most unpublicized secret with respect to being a parent? What do none of the books tell you?

If I told you, it certainly wouldn't be a secret now would it? You'll see soon enough...I will share one with you. Parents don't like to talk about it. Somehow if they do, it's as though they are admitting defeat, or they feel like it makes them less of a parent. The secret is this:

Sometimes you will wonder why in the hell you decided to have a child.

This is true of every parent. I challenge any parent to come to me and say that you have never felt this way, not even once. We all have these fleeting, and not so fleeting moments when the phone is ringing, the baby is screaming, your five year old is whining, the dog is barking, the doorbell is ringing and the water is boiling over on the stove and you just want to crawl into a corner and cry. You will want your old life back. You will curse the day you decided to have the sex that created these beings. You will feel this way and it is ok. You are human. The moment will pass and you will fall madly back into love with your children again. That is the secret. You will think that you hate your children at times. Obviously you don't, but it will feel that way. In the next instant, it's gone. Don't feel guilty about this. It comes with the job.

More later, I have SOOO much laundry to do, and the packing. My god with the packing.

• Posted by JuJubee @ 6/30/2005 08:51:00 AM
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