Thursday, April 07, 2005
What Did You Do With My Wife?That's what I hear floating around in the Mister's head.
So I have been in this weird sort of twilight zone place lately. I know it has sooo much to do with the baby coming. Your mind can do weird things when you are severely lacking in the sleep department. Add to that the anxiety of childbirth looming in the very near future and you can see maybe why I have been "not so much myself" as of late. Some days start out pretty well and I feel somewhat normal in my skin. As most of those days grow on I do start to lose myself, or at least the self that I am familiar with. I'm sure my husband would agree with that. It's just that I am so uncomfortable much of the time...I am ready for this part of the journey to be over and get so frustrated with myself when I am too tired to put a load of clothes in to the dryer or walk up the stairs as quickly as I used to be able to. I miss carrying my son to bed. I miss my old wardrobe. I miss breathing. I miss NOT COMPLAINING all of the time. I feel like such a whiner and I don't like to see myself that way. I like to be a pleasant person to be around and I don't know what happened to that person. She is somewhere deep inside of me with that mocking voice of hers, "Stop complaining...noone cares that your ankles are swollen or that you can't sleep. Join the club! There are nothing special about your problems so get over it and just enjoy this time you have left..." I do wish I could listen to that voice. I really do.
OK! Here's where I apologize for complaining again! Sorry folks! Why do you keep coming back here, anyway ?!
• Posted by JuJubee @ 4/07/2005 12:07:00 PM • • •